Trying to avoid disruptions in life is impossible! No matter how prepared you are, honest, hardworking, loyal, etc., ending something familiar (whether you like loved it or not) is scary for most people.
Whatever kind of loss or transition you are facing (bereavement, unexpected restructuring, acquisition or layoff, divorce, health struggles, empty nest syndrome, or emotional turmoil), you have two choices when you get knocked down.
- Stay down, lament, and wait for someone to fix it for you (good luck with that).
- Flip to a new page, and head with a positive mind (and heart) in a new direction.
I used to hate change when I was younger. Now, I thrive on it. That may be a result of being a small business owner for over twelve years. You cannot prevent change from happening. Which is good because sometimes the things we THINK we want, are less than we truly want (or deserve).
Put any negative experiences into perspective. Any time my life has taken a detour, it’s been a huge upgrade (eventually). But I’ve learned that when life deals you a sucker punch, your first step is to protect your energy, so you can get shit done and get back on track.
1. Eat The Real Stuff (Not Junk)
There are some challenges standing between most people and eating well. The cost is prohibitive. Ever notice how the good foods are so expensive? I have literally become a master at using DoorDash grocery coupons.
Don’t laugh… I just saved $15 off a $50 cart order and felt pretty cool about it.
Effort is the other obstacle. I usually work long hours (day job, passion project, and my screenplay), and then we also wrangle three teenage little ladies and seven dogs. I clean constantly, and I’m a ninja at keeping laundry caught up, but some nights I am just too darned tired to cook. And I will settle for the bad stuff, even though I know my health depends on eating REAL FOOD not processed, high sodium, low nutrient, high carbohydrate crap.
Except for Froot Loops… because I put a banana on it. Technically, that’s a serving of fruit. 🙂
Real food and nutritional balance usually fixes low energy and fatigue problems. Do you know how bad the diet is in the United States? BAD! To boot, genetically engineered vegetables and farm factory meats are so low in nutrients, that you have to eat MORE to meet your daily requirements.
Frankenveggies … yuck.
This country sucks when it comes to food quality (watch a documentary or two and you’ll see exactly what I mean). And why most American food products are banned in other countries. When I eat real food that I make myself, life is better because I feel better. After losing over 110 pounds (and still heading toward my goal) I’ve become a food snob (which is a really good thing, IMO).
I take B12, a multivitamin, a probiotic, and a glutathione activator (read up on it, because it’s a game changer). and my regular medications. I also eat a ton of fruit (cherries are my current obsession), and sliced cucumbers. I feel good when I eat clean.
2. Take Back Your Sleep (And Get Some Naps!)
When you are stressed you don’t sleep well. If you have clinical anxiety, that can be compounded. But when you are not sleeping well, it jacks with your cortisol levels. That is the stress hormone, and that shit does a real number on your mood, sleep quality, and immune system.
It also impairs your ability to deal with normal life stressors. I wear a FitBit and so does my partner. The sleep data is critical I think, to tracking your progress, and prioritizing quality, restorative sleep.
Can’t sleep longer than six hours? Get some naps in. It’s not hard. Find a peaceful and quiet place and catch an hour. Away from the dogs, kids, spouse, sounds, television, smartphone, etc. Watching TV in bed isn’t napping. Let your body unwind, drift off, and recharge like a Tesla.
That was me this week. Stress can compound, and daytime naps? Heavenly medicine.
Being well-rested also helps you keep your cool around people who try your patience. That’s a superpower. Some people are just the way they are. In the trajectory of your life, negative experiences with people are barely a blip on the radar, but always a good opportunity to level up your resilience.
3. Meditation Actually Works
My entire life, I have been surrounded by gorgeous, healthy, and fit people who tried to sell me the value of meditation. The problem is that I found it boring. I also found it challenging to be still and quiet at a yoga session, when you are surrounded by other people.
Hot yoga was the worst. Ever been in a small room with too many sweaty people, and someone is flatulent? Gross. The scent just hung in the air before I quietly excused myself to go wretch in the bathroom. Plant-based diets (while I admire them) also make for some pretty foul gas. Must be all the legumes, or something.
It may sound strange, but because I was unsuccessful at meditation with a group, I figured that it was mission impossible for me. But two years ago I started meditating at home. Alone, with some binaural beats (think brain waves and deep OHM!).
Not only did it reduce my stress levels (and promote better sleep) but it made me a happier and peaceful person. I guess the Guru in Toronto (who I briefly dated) was on to something legitimate. I was just doing it wrong. When I started doing it correctly though, it was an amazing breakthrough for me. A powerful stress management tool.
Try it. YouTube is full of free guided meditation videos. I am a huge fan of binaural beats and sound therapy. I don’t know why some people are afraid to try it. It works, and you feel something equivalent to that “runners high” after you’re done.
If you experience stressful circumstances (or people) meditation can not only help you shrug off negative emotions, it really puts things into perspective and resizes the situation. End of the world? Nah. It’s all valuable experience that builds mental muscle.
4. Get Dirty (In The Garden)
Not only am I a childless dog lady (uhem… JD Vance) I am also a plant person. I love getting my hands in the soil, potting and repotting, talking to my plants, adjusting my UV lights and spectrums, and may have a mild addiction to succulents. They are so pretty and also hard to kill.
I did know that if I was in an off-mood, gardening would perk me up every single time. Both the physical activity (which purges feelings of stress) and the smells and textures of the garden. I like playing in the dirt because it always makes me feel better.
Well, after a lifetime of not questioning my gardening as therapeutically valuable, I have learned that it is not a bunch of bullshit after all. Dopamine and some other happiness hormones are released when your body touches the earth. Once a day, I will take my shoes off, and go stand on the lawn. I close my eyes, listen to the birds (also scientifically proven to be therapeutic), and absorb that natural energy.
As we save for our house, my fantasies include a vegetable garden. I want to make pickles, my own tomato sauce again, and have fabulous fruit trees. I don’t live in Canada anymore, so gardening here is a lot easier.
As long as you remember to water your plants daily, or they become crispy fried in the Texas Hill Country sun. Ask me how I know.
5. Review Or Revise Your List of Goals
My current goals center around career success, the launch of my passion project, health, weight loss, stress management, and creativity. I also prioritize my social life. Brent is in many bands, and we go out often.
Seeing people who love live music, conversations, and all the hugs, is a great feeling. The support is amazing (and so is the networking).
My inner circle is loving and loyal. We back each other up. My business network is also full of great people and solid relationships. Because quality, respectful, and kind relationships matter to me. I like to get back what I give. I love being surrounded by people who share my ethos.
I have annual goals, monthly goals, and a three-year and five-year plan. I also have a ten-year plan. I like being organized. What is interesting is that when you do organize your priorities, life mantra, or what have you, then you tend to head in that direction no matter what changes.
6. Don’t Take Everything Personally
When I look back over my former (and epic) single-girl blog (now unpublished), I see persistence and personal growth. But one of the most important changes I see in myself is an evolution to take things less personally.
You don’t get very far in life if you let every negative experience you encounter disrupt your momentum.
So I don’t. And I also don’t allow temporary setbacks to change my candor or outlook on life.
