Are you capable of doing nothing? In the long list of life skills we build, how high up on the list is that ability to truly do nothing? Take a break. Rest and recharge, without sitting on the couch feeling guilty because YOU SHOULD be doing something?
Europeans think we are insane. Full stop. They take a look at the quality of life (or lack thereof) that many Americans have and they shake their heads. What is it about North America that makes us such a slave to the grind? People bragging about how much time they spent at work in overdrive? How incredibly packed their schedules are? We boast about the life of busy like it is something to be proud of.
And then you start to get older. At the age of 49, I am looking at things differently. I myself, have been in constant overdrive for most of my life. Working full time while putting myself through college and university. None of my friends did that; I didn’t want student debt. Then, in 2009 when I launched my side-gig business, it grew into a full-time job. That is a success, right? Yep! At the expense of me actually taking care of myself. My physical, and mental health.
I almost lost my life three times from 2018 to 2020. That changed me too. And I lost two of my Aunts to cancer in that period as well. In their early sixties. I am trying to figure out how to balance my life, so that I earn enough to pay for all the things. But that my life isn’t only centered around chasing the dollar. That there is more fulfillment, joy and happiness in my daily existence.
Because that sh*t matters! I don’t want to be sitting in a nursing home (if I am lucky to live that long) regretting a lifetime of grind… grind… grind without ever living. And increasingly, I feel like the North American culture is built to keep us down. Keep us in debt as a form of slavery. While the cost of living keeps increasing without salaries going up to compensate for it. It feels like a sinking boat sometimes.
None of my friends know how to relax either. They feel they should be doing something… rather than ‘wasting time’ doing nothing. That programming is making us sick. It is impacting our energy, optimism, and joy in life. And I think people are spending on stupid stuff that is a diversion to the lack of fulfillment in our lives.
I want to do better. I want to live a life I love every day. And I know if I focus on that as a goal, I can make it happen.
Stress Levels in America Have Never Been Higher
The American Psychological Association does an annual poll, to determine stress levels. When the poll was released on March 11, 2022, the results were unsurprising. But still kind of shocking. And if you have been feeling a little more stressed than usual, you aren’t alone.
Stress in the United States is at historic and unprecedented levels. What exactly is stressing us out so much? According to the poll, here are the top concerns that are creating extreme stress for Americans:
Americans
Inflation is the slap in the face that Americans did not need, on the second anniversary of the pandemic. Job loss statistics are misreported. For example, the Bureau of Labor Statistics reported in February 2022, that the unemployment rate had dropped to 3.8%. Sounds pretty good, right?
But how many Americans are working more than one job, to make it in an increasingly expensive reality? Data from the U.S. Census Bureau’s Longitudinal Employer-Household Dynamics (LEHD) report demonstrates a stark reality. The number of Americans who are holding more than one job has been rapidly increasing for the past twenty (20) years.
What does that look like? Someone who works full-time, but doesn’t quite make enough for all their bills? Common. From general laborers to educated professionals, people are side-gigging for survival. Not to get ahead. But to keep their household afloat. And women are more likely than men, to hold multiple jobs.
Whether that means freelancing on the side from home or driving for Uber or Doordash, Americans are at a precipice. Corporate America doesn’t stand by the values of keeping employees; work hard, and your job could still be gone tomorrow. The nature of the new global economy, outsourcing, and even mergers and acquisitions. Building companies to sell them is a thing. And when those companies are sold, staff are expendable.
Today more than 7% of Americans have more than one job. Just to ‘make it’ and afford the increasing cost of living. Spurred by ridiculous cost of rental housing, or purchased real estate. The cost of gasoline right now is messing up many industries from trucking to Uber drivers, to your average commuter. Someone who moved outside of a city to lower the cost of living now finds themselves butchered at the gas station.
So, now that we understand that modern life is more than a little hard, we also have to ask ourselves how often we are recharging. If life is difficult (and it is for many) and it depletes us, what are we doing to nourish our bodies and brains? Because at a time when stress levels have never been higher, Americans suck at taking time out and life balance.
Training Yourself to Relax (And Not Feel Guilty About It)
The first and most important hurdle I think (at least for me) is accepting that there is a consequence to not relaxing. Everything else that gets our attention or energy has a consequence if you think about it. Don’t do your job well? Fired. No money. Uh oh… Don’t clean your house? It makes you feel crappy about your surroundings. It nags at you, or that is how I am anyhow. So we clean.
We spend time with our friends because we enjoy it. But if we don’t spend that time with family and friends, the relationships we care about are negatively impacted. Oh look, consequence! Don’t pay your bills? Consequence! Don’t make enough money? Consequence.
Don’t relax? You are creating an impairment in your life that affects everything. If you have no downtime, you aren’t living your best life. You are operating, and sure, you may be fulfilling every obligation perfectly. Except your obligation to take care of yourself, in that equation.
Self-care isn’t something that happens when we have nothing else to do. Self-care should be at the top of our list, every single day. From the kind of breakfast you eat to the vitamins you take. To making time for exercise too (the best stress reliever ever!).
And just as I was thinking about how I want to create a happier, more balanced and fulfilling life, this popped up in my Facebook today. Like the Universe telling me I was on the right track. Maybe. If you buy into existentialism like I do.
Easy Ways to Help Reduce Stress and Get Chill AF!
- Chew gum. Weird right? But chewing gum actually sooths your body, and helps reduce stress. It can also increase your productivity and focus.
- Breathe deep. Did you know that most of us breathe too fast and too shallow? Train yourself to be mindful of breathing as a way to lower stress levels and relax.
- Sleep well. What time do you go to bed? Are you heading to bed with your phone? Stop that sh*t right now… because you are messing with your circadian rhythm. The flashing bright lights of your phone (or a TV) in your room are not helping you sleep. And while many Americans average about six (6) hours of sleep, doctors think that is not enough to recharge your batteries.
- Pick up some essential oils. I know, your Mom is probably trying to get you to buy some. But those terpenes are real! Try sniffing pine, or citrus. Your body is programmed to get relaxed with certain scents.
- Take a nap! What?!?! You are allowed! Ground yourself to your bedroom. Turn off your devices, and pull the blinds. Get into comfy clothes and nap. It will lower stress hormone levels in your body and rejuvenate you.
- Say NO! And mean it. Just because there are three thousand things going on in your social sphere, doesn’t mean you have to do all of them. If you are tired, listen to your body and brain. Take a rain check, and do some of that slow self-care that will help you recharge your batteries. Your peeps will understand.
- Eat less sugar. When we are tired we tend to pile on the bad food. Fast food, high sugar sweets and sodas. Carbohydrates give you a temporary energy boost, and then comes the crash (where you are basically sleepy and irritable again). Stop riding the sugar rollercoaster. Get you some real food like fruits, vegetables, cheese and healthy proteins instead. It will fuel your day AND prevent hunger or sugar crashes from affecting your mood in a negative way.
- Be kind to yourself. Your inner dialogue and “beating yourself up” on the inside isn’t helping. In fact, it is emotionally exhausting for you. Demoralizing. Striving to achieve goals is awesome! But when life’s disruptions happen, and things get difficult, find a way to take care of you. So that you can better face whatever obstacles are yours to resolve.
Take care of you.
