Applications Open

Making new friends as an adult in a new country, is harder than I thought it would be.  Then again, virtually everything is harder than I think it is going to be, because I am an optimistic and driven person. I have this laundry list of things that my ideal Texas friend(s) should have, which reads fairly reasonable I think.

  • Must be loving.
  • Must be positive minded.
  • Must be in North Texas (I have incredible friends, they just aren’t in this state, or country).
  • Must not be envious (seriously, jealous women drive me mental).
  • Must be creative, or at least like and understand creative people (or I’ll drive YOU mental).
  • Must be responsible.
  • Must like fishing, the outdoors, lakes, trees, gardens, wildlife and hugging trees for no reason.  Bonus points for people who like to walk barefoot outside.
  • Must love dogs.  Okay, the cat too, but he’s annoying.
  • Must like cooking (if you can bake, I’ll try not to be jealous, because jealous women drive me mental).
  • Must have a good sense of humor.  :) I get funny… but only when I feel safe with you.
  • Must be curious (I love trying new stuff).
  • Must be a ‘doer’ and not just a ‘talker’ (dreamers drive me nuts).
  • Must have better hair than me (it gives me something to aspire to).
  • Must like Xbox, virtual worlds or games. Extra points for periodic trips to the Casino.
  • Must be smart.  I know it sounds bad but it won’t work otherwise, and you won’t get my sarcasm.

In terms of qualities, values and politics, I like people who:

  • Love people regardless of religion, country of birth, color of skin or sexual orientation.
  • Are classy. (You can still swear though, because I am capable AF of cussing like an Italian truck driver).
  • Be loyal.
  • Be honest.
  • Be balanced (most of the time).
  • Be driven.
  • Have goals.  If you are a saver or financial strategist, I’ll think you are super sexy.
  • Admit their own flaws (and can laugh at them).
  • Think Donald Trump is a belligerent ass hat.  <— Mandatory (with very few exceptions for a couple classy people who have given an explanation that makes sense to me).

What you will get:

  • A friend who drives a super cool new red Jeep Cherokee.  I mean… would you think I was cooler because of my new cool car?  What if I told you I can’t reach the back hatchback when it’s popped up, and still can’t figure out where the the gas goes?  Kidding… ish. *blush*
  • Someone who runs a creative business, works a lot, but is passionate about being an entrepreneur.
  • A friend who is down for anything from shopping, to painting, hiking, fishing or trying strange food in Dallas; road trip!
  • Someone who will cook you delicious dinners (you like Italian, right?).
  • Someone who doesn’t understand American football (yet) but is trying to learn.  Go Cowboys!
  • Someone who could burn soup (but will laugh about it and order a pizza).
  • Someone who is a great listener.  A better talker, but a great listener, if you tell me you need me to be one.
  • Someone who looks for cheap, super fun things to do.
  • Someone who is HONEST to fault (haz references).
  • Someone who will try not to forget your birthday, but may forget your birthday, and make it up to you with a great gift the next day, after seeing it was your birthday on Facebook. (Sorry Diane).
  • Someone who will help you move, garden, renovate (I love to paint!), shop, and screw up shit we find on Pinterest.
  • Someone who will care about you (as long as you know how to care back).
  • Someone who will look for little ways to make you smile.  I like making people smile.  I like people who remember that smiling is important.

What you will not get:

  • Someone you can use and disrespect. 
  • A marriage counselor.  I lack the patience to sugar coat stuff, so I encourage people NOT to ask me for advice.  It goes back to that blunt honesty thing. Plus, what makes you think I have my own marriage figured out?  He just makes really great scrambled eggs and fixed a faucet (once).  I spend a lot of time writing while he watches football.  All we know is that we like kissing and we don’t bug each other. *shrug*
  • Someone you can use the ‘c’ word with.  It’s a class thing, and a deal breaker.  I think it’s vile, and there are so many other words in the dictionary to choose from. 
  • Someone who likes fighting. Truth is, I don’t have a lot of free time after running my business, and I’m not interested in wasting the free time I do have, on pointless negative crap. I don’t do passive aggressive, I do grown-up.  I think it makes people look stupid. 

 

I have been reading the list to my youngest of three dogs, Mia.  She thinks it’s ridiculous.  But then again, she’s a total bitch. (Get it?) *slumpy shoulders* …. yeah, I’m screwed.