You Are More Than the Bad Things That Happen To You

Outdoor portrait of a sad teenage girl looking thoughtful about troubles in front of a gray wall


There are a few people who live in my ‘hood and live in my heart that this post applies to.  And periodically, it applies to me too, and every other human being I know.  It’s going to sound like a rant but this is from my heart, and from the lessons I have learned specifically in the past seven years.

You are more than the bad things that happen to you.

You.  The person who dreams big and wakes up trying to figure out how to make those dreams happen.

You, the guy or girl who put the shirt in the store back on the shelf, because you had bills to pay.

You, who chooses a vet bill, or a kid’s field trip, or groceries over a night out with friends or some fancy shoes.

You, who is grateful for the days when things seem to work, even if you are a little afraid of them because they don’t happen that often.

You are more than the bad things that happen to you.

You, who is always there for a friend or a family member, even when your ducks are not in a row.  Let’s be honest, the ducks are flying the eff everywhere, but you still have two warm arms, two ears to listen and a heart that gives a @#$# about the people who matter to you.

You, who has been undervalued, talked to like you are stupid, gossiped about, lied about, manipulated, argued with and taken pot shots from any shit head that felt bored that day, or someone at work who has one single issue; that perhaps, you are a little more valuable or talented than they are.

You, who has a check list of the bills and the dates that they come out, crossing each one off like it’s a victory (because in this economy it really is).  You who have mastered having fun on $20 or less with your best friend, even if it’s a walk around the lake and two smoothies.

You are what happens immediately after something bad happens to you.

You are that spark and that voice in your head that say’s “oh @#$(&, now what?” and then starts working on a plan.

You are that smile and friendly personality to the chick at the grocery store who tried to ring up the potatoes twice.

You are that cheap ass bottle of wine and two glasses, inviting your friend over to talk (even if it gets slurred a little).

You are that birthday cake with two forks because eff it, bad days, weeks, months and even years happen.   But there is still cake.  Cake is good sometimes.

You are a heart and soul and person who matters so much to the people who love you, that they cannot even imagine life without you.

You are ridiculously successful.  Know why?   Because in a world of ridiculously ignorant, uncaring assholes … you still became you.   And you are a miracle.


You are allowed to @#$(!# (and then get back to business).  Because what you are not is a quitter.  What you are is a fighter, ready to architect the life you love (even through setbacks and disappointments).


And I believe in you, as much as I believe in myself.   And it took me forever to learn that the only thing that can hold me down… is me.  You can change anything.