Nothing in life is a “given”.
We get up every morning and think of old age as something bad that is going to happen to us someday, somehow when we aren’t looking. I know at 43 I still feel young, and even though staying on top of my gray is a challenge at times, and I notice a few more changes that imply that I am 43, most days I am simply glad I made it. I’ve had enough accidental scares and health concerns in my life to be grateful to be here. Gray hair and all.
I believe you should try everything once. I believe that if something matters to you, that you should throw yourself into it 300% until you achieve it. Without fear, just do it. The fear of failure becomes laughable when you realize that even when you fail, you learn something. That failure is not a stopping place, but the beginning of a new journey, where your approach and even your personality undergo some valuable refinement.
Don’t be afraid to fail. Be afraid to stop trying, and be afraid of giving up or being too afraid to try again. Life is a series of failures and experiments; some work, some do not. It is who you are and what you do after failing that determines the value of the experience. I hate failing, but some of my biggest failures taught me the most valuable lessons in life, and made me who I am today. Imperfect, slightly distrusting of others perhaps, but still willing to try and creating new ideas weekly, not just in business, but for our life and direction.
Failing upward, I know I can create anything as long as I am unwilling to fear failure as anything more significant than experience and life “editing”. I hate editing too, but I get it’s a necessary process, and so is failure.
Do you know what I am really afraid of? There are a few things:
- Going through life with a list of things I never get to. Important things.
- A life devoid of creative expression.
- Messing up my kids.
- Messing up my marriage.
- Snakes and spiders (they are bigger here in Texas and mean business).
- Being bored.
- Living to less than my potential and just “settling”.
- Baking (we had smoke when I tried to make pancakes for Father’s Day … just sayin’)
Being a Type A personality I have this slave master inside my head that flays me daily. But my Type B voice has been balancing that lately, and I know she is a direct result of my husband, who has a very Zen like mood and demeanor. The balancing is nice. It allows me to open up and enjoy family events, talk to people and be present to conversations, rather than obsessing about my business, work and what “else I should be doing”. The voice snaps me into reason and shouts “This is EXACTLY what you are supposed to be doing. Having a life.”
But that voice also wants me to start another business (or two). It wants to possibly go back to school for a Masters in Marketing Management (in this economy?) It wants me to make this little house a palace, even though it is only a transitional stop on the way to buying the house we really want. An investment plan that hinges on saving, not trying to make this house better for the next person that owns it. Not that I’ll listen. Wherever I am I want to improve things; it’s part of who I am.
A new Church, sending off an application for approval as a volunteer with that Church, trying to make new local friends; these are all things I am actively trying. Building a life here in Texas and reprogramming my homesickness into something positive, like making this place feel more like home. And if culture is hard to come by, and there aren’t many writers events here then perhaps it should be me that actively creates a spoken word night at a local pub? I can do that! I haz the power to change and audit what is missing in my new home by being creative, inventive and persistent.
I’m smiling this morning, and feeling quite like myself. That’s what a weekend of social will give you, with a bunch of friendly Tex-Mex family members passing drinks and great food, laughing, hugging, tumbling down the water slide with the kids and roasted marshmallows. I don’t have to be anyone else but me, and I don’t have to change who I am to fit in. I married in, right? And in terms of making new friends, I am “people picky” too. We already have great friends and I am on a quest to find a biz-chick whose eyes won’t glaze over when I talk about dominating content marketing in Texas. Okay, maybe not dominating it but perhaps moving into a rented office with 2-3 staff? Yes. I can work on building the kind of business that exists even when I am not in the office that day. My next Moby.
Try everything. Life is better when you get your hands dirty and stretch yourself beyond your comfort zone daily. And if I am not scared 2-3 times per week, then I know I am coasting through life, instead of grabbing the reins and seeing what happens.
The worst that can happen is failure. And like I said, it’s not so scary when you’ve done it a few times. I’m ready to live “balls to the wall” again, because that’s how I roll. #FullThrottle. I’ve given myself time to soak in the “shock” of the move and some of the bad things that happened. I’m ready to be me again. I’m grateful to be feeling this way again. I hope I’m liked, but if I’m not, I’m also cool with that. The approval of others isn’t what drives me; it’s my approval of self and the life I live, and who I am in service to those I love that matters most.