The Things I Got Right

DawnThis morning I shampooed my hair with some fancy new shampoo without getting it in my eye.  I always get it in my eye; but not today.  I also shaved my legs without a single cut by taking my time and exfoliating first with apricot and walnut scrub.  It felt good.

I got that right.

Today I got my nails done, my eyebrows waxed and my upper lipped waxed.  Generally speaking I try to economize on what used to be very regular grooming for me.   But I did today, while waiting for the line to dissipate at the DMV, I took care of me.

I got that right.

Today I kept my cool at the bank for the fourth appointment in our efforts to get me a bona fide bank account of my own.  Greencard in hand, I found out I needed one more thing that was incoming administratively.  I was disappointed, angry, frustrated and upset on the inside… on the outside I was funny, charming and polite.

I got that right.

Today I printed and gingerly labeled a gift package for my niece Raven.  I cringed internally as the older lady behind the counter took 15 minutes to process my package… “It’s a zero… the postal co… the zip code is alpha, numer… letter, number, letter… it’s a zero ma’am not an “O” … no you pressed “O” again… I … yes, letter, number…”.   Inside I was pitching a fit.  Outside I leaned over and pointed to the “0” button on the keyboard after minute 13.  She smiled and thanked me.

I got that right.

Today I thanked my husband for introducing me to a fabulous chartered accountant who helped me iron out the whole “split income tax” thing that is so complicated in year one.  I was bracing for a $300 bill as quoted.  The accountant waived the fee as a result of the friendship he has with my husband.   When he said that my in-laws spoke highly of me to him, I blushed.  And thanked him.  Then thanked God for being in the family I am in, but did it quietly while criticizing the Accountant for the state of his desk.

I still got that … right.

Today I held my husbands hand on the long car ride home from the Accountant’s office and talked about owning a farm, or a house with a lot of land.  A pond for bass and turt… a second pond for my turtles apparently.  A big pool and an outdoor kitchen with enough space to have bonfires of family and friends and new memories, and teenage boys’ pool parties.  My husband smiled.

I got that right.

Tonight I picked up the annoying cat and loved on him.  He is laying here in my office purring and smiling up at me right now and it struck me that half his behavior might be in seeking approval.  Happy cat… retain flesh on human bone.

I got that right.

I ended a hard day on a positive note, looking for the peace and abundance in the blessings around me.    Seeing a glimpse of the relaxed, confident, adaptive me that looks for happiness in the smallest things.   “Hey there she is…” and I smiled at myself quietly.

You are allowed to be happy.  Perhaps its just a matter of spinning the day into the things you got right instead of the things that didn’t go the way you hoped.  After all… if you only focus on what is perfect in life you’ll never smile again.  Self-criticism is the cold shadow that is cast by perfectionism… and self-perfectionism is the distillation of spiritual injury, but I don’t have to drink that vinegar every day right?  I can create another option; happiness and lightheartedness.

I might be on to something…  if pain is fuel that gets you through a hard time, perhaps eventually that fuel burns out … and returns you to a place of gentle peace and trust and non-apprehensive kindness.    A self-forgiveness for allowing the pain to happen to you in the first place?

If so, I’m finally getting it right.